Sunday, November 22, 2009

Personal Narrative- The whole shebang

“Smack.” “Pow.” “Whoosh.” The sounds of snowballs flying around me and hitting my comrades. “You jerk, you hit him in the face,” I exclaimed. “You better be ready for a bruising!”

“Try me,” said Frankie. So off we went, hurtling these oblong sphere’s of snow at each other. We were at this for a couple of minutes when I landed a good one in his ear. “You’re in for a bruising now,” Frankie yelled. So as I was running around the field, away from Frankie, I noticed the recess aide walking around, so I told Frankie to stop for a second, just until the aide left. “Not a chance,” said Frankie. “I am going to take you down.” So as Frankie’s snowball was flying through the air, the aide turned towards the field we were playing at and saw the snowball. “Smack!” The snowball hit me square in the chest.

“Dang-it! Why did you do that Frankie?” I asked. Frankie then explained why: “I said that I was going to take you down, so I did.” In the back of my mind I thought to myself “Frankie is such a big dufus,” Frankie is one of those trouble making kids, and he was not one of the sharpest knives in the drawer, if you know what I mean. He was held back about two years because he couldn’t pass the sixth grade test, so Frankie was just a smidge taller than I was. “Why would you throw that, I told you to hold on.” “Oh,” said Frankie, “I didn’t hear you.” I was getting angry now. So, because Frankie was a little bit of a bigger kid, I was kind of afraid of him. I did happen to have an advantage in the brains area, so I was thinking of ways that I could use them to get out of a punishment.

The aide was starting to head over, and I was thinking of different stories that I could make up that would keep me out of trouble, like “I didn’t do anything, Frankie just threw that snowball at me, so I was trying to get away…” no, that sounds too farfetched, so I started to think up different ones like “We were just having a little fun, and besides, no one else was in our line of fire, so they wouldn’t get hurt,” and just some other different stories like that. By the time the aide got to me, I had figured out what to say.

“What are you two doing?” asked the aid. “Oh, we were just making some snowballs, and not throwing them, cause that’s against the rules.” “But, I saw that one was thrown,” said the aide. “Well, that was Frankie,” I said. This is working perfectly, I thought “He was starting to get antsy, so he threw a snowball at me. Believe me, I told him not to, but he did anyways.” “Ok,” the aide said. “Frankie, what do you have to say?” “Crap.” I thought, “I didn’t take into account that she would ask him what happened.” “Well,” said Frankie. “Andrew threw a snowball at my ear, so I was just repaying the favor.” “Is this true,” Asked the aide. I was now thinking of a way that I could get out of this. I couldn’t tell the aide that he was threatening me, because he wasn’t; so I decided to tell the truth. “Yes, I threw the snowball first.” “Well, why did you lie in the first place?” asked the aid. “I was afraid of getting in trouble.” I said. The aide then took us to the office to talk with Principal Jarret.

The only scary part about this trip was the fact that I was going to the Principal’s office for the first time. Frankie tried to reassure me about it by saying “Awe, it’s not that bad, he’ll just yell and scream a little, and then we will be able to go.” I was now terrified. Frankie made this man seem like the devil in the flesh. As we entered into the Principal’s office, I had a completely different experience than what I was expecting. Principal Jarret’s office had a warm feel; from the orange wallpaper that lined the walls, to the M&M candy dispenser on his desk. His office was so inviting that I forgot that I was there to be punished for my actions out on the playground.

“So, you boys were in a snowball fight I presume?” said Principal Jarret. “Yes sir.” We, Frankie and I, said in unison. “Well, what do you too think is a punishment worthy of this crime?” Principal Jarret said, almost jokingly. I didn’t know whether or not to take him seriously. “I don’t know,” I said. “We were just having a little fun, and I was just defending my friend.” “Oh really,” said Principal Jarret, “What did Frankie here do to your friend?” “Well, my friend, Frankie and I were throwing snowballs, when Frankie threw a snowball at my friends face.” I said. The Principal then said what he thought: “Well, I think that a worthy punishment would be for you to stay inside for recess for the remainder of the winter, that is, unless, you have something better.” “Well, that sounds Okay,” I said. “But I was just defending my friend.” “I understand that, but it doesn’t condone in turn, throwing a snowball at Frankie’s face,” said the Principal. As I was walking out of his office, I thought to myself “Why should I get punished for defending my friend, and for just having a little fun?”, but then I remembered that I had not obeyed the rules.

After a week of no snow, it kind of hit me that I should have told the truth. Watching everyone else having fun outside while I was cooped up inside reading a book, or playing a board game just made me even madder at myself. This was all made worse by the fact that I had to suffer through all of this with Frankie. He never even wants to do anything, so it is just even more boring. I just wish that I would have told the truth to the aide so I wouldn’t have to do this.

8 comments:

  1. Good description of principal's office. Perhaps end the paper with you "seeing" fun things happen outside instead of telling us you wished you had told the truth.

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  2. Yeah. It has a good plot line. You can feel the story progressing. But the ending needs to leave more for the reader to think about. Makin the reader think about the moral instead of just tellin the everything.

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  3. Great story of learning to be honest. Maybe change the punctuation at the beginning and use exclamation points when using strong words or when you and you're friend were yelling. Other than that, very descriptive...lesson learned.

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  4. that was a good message about honesty, maybe show what is happening, explain the five senses, what things looked like felt like sounded like tasted like smelled like, recreate the atmosphere fr the reader

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  5. I think the last paragraph might have a couple problems with tense but I like how the story is told using a lot of dialogue. It really makes it flow well and gives a lot of insight into the characters.

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  6. Great use of dialogue! Nice job using showing instead of telling. You might want use more showing instead of telling at your conclusion. I really like the narrative and the moral.

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  7. I like how there is a strong moral to this story, a clear central message. I also liked the imagery of the story. Maybe develop more appearance of the other kid that hit you with a snowball besides the fact that he was bigger and older.

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  8. Nice! I agree with Camilo, you can add more to the conclusion.

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